Too bad, so sad

spiffiepixie @ 2007-01-01T02:09:00

2007-01-01T02:09:00Z

my new years resolutions:

1. stop biting my nails and then actually have some nails

2. stop sucking at beer pong

spiffiepixie @ 2006-12-08T19:48:00

2006-12-08T19:48:21Z

So I finished my online class the other night... wrote 2 papers in like 2 hours for my final. I got my test back in math... 103, thank you very much! Which now makes my average in math a 100... I can't wait for my kitten! I'm so excited. Tomorrow is the last day of classes, then finals week... and a big surprise for some people!!

I'm trying to get over being sick... it sucked, I apparently had a UTI and a respitory infection... NOT FUN! And Andy has started getting sick too, he has been having really bad ear aches... not good.

I'm feeling very stressed out right now... because I am running tight on money and I don't know what to get Andrew for Christmas and my paycheck next friday will be very low because I have missed so much work from being sick. But it's weird like I just have this feeling that something bad is going to happen, and it freaks me out. Like a mini-anxiety attack. But I don't like it.

But things with Andy are wonderful... He is absolutely amazing, and he is so good to me... I totally don't deserve him. I love him so much. There are times when I feel like he doesn't really trust me all the way, but I understand why he would be nervous about stuff so it doesn't really bother me. But I just wish I knew how to make him see that I would never do anything to mess this up.

I need...

2006-11-28T13:11:34Z

... to get out of my house.

Why?
Because parents are f*cking ridiculous

virginia

2006-11-11T04:35:11Z

So I'm in Virginia now on our annual shopping trip... the ride down here was interesting... we got stuck in traffic for so long, that we decided to try to take another road to the hotel instead of the mall, then we ended up getting lost! It was insane... so we were in the car from 10 until like 6... on what was supposed to be a 5 hr drive.

I feel bad cause Andy is sick and I'm not there to take care of him. I love him so much and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. So I feel bad that I'm not there to help him feel better!

Kay and Danni, I'm sorry for what I said, I was just upset because sometimes I do feel like you guys don't remember me. I talk about you guys all the time, and I just miss you. I feel bad that I can't come visit, but I need to work. I think y'all should come to K-Town! LoL

So... on another note... I'M GETTING A NEW CAR! My car is a peice of shit and needed a lot of work done (i.e.- new tires, new new brakes, new transmission)So I'm getting a 1999 Toyota 4-Runner, with 128,000 miles. Brand new tires, new brakes, etc. So I'm excited. I can pick it up on Monday.

Just a little update...

2006-11-03T15:27:38Z

So I haven't updated in a while... so I will, just cause I'm bored, and I have a lot to do today, so...

Andrew and I have been together for 5 months.... and I love him so much! Sometimes I get afraid that he is going to leave me though, and I don't know why. I'm just afraid that I'm gonna mess something up and he'll leave. But he is amazing, and I love him. I can't wait to see him today.

My car needs a new transmission, which sucks because that is like $1,000 and I definately can't afford that. So today Andy and I are going to go look for a new car for me.

I'm hoping to get a new job at Models, cause I don't like Aport's Authority and they aren't giving me any hours which sucks. So if I get a job at Mo's I might also be able to go to Florida for Thanksgiving break. (Andy and I want to drive down and see my dad which I am so excited about!) I really wanna go.

Well, that's basically it, I have to go get my car from the transmission place and then go get my paycheck, and then go to Red Hook so Andy can get a peice for his truck that he left in my car, and then I have to run out to UCCC to drop off something to my math teacher, then when Andy gets out of work, we are gonna go looks at cars.

And now I'm pissed cause my family is driving me nuts and I just want to get out of the house... it makes me wonder what would have happened if I had stayed in Oneonta... they would have figured all this stuff out and I wouldn't have to be their little bitch. A lot would be different if I had stayed in Oneonta, I wouldn't get to be with Andy every night is the main one... but I also would still have my friends in Oneonta, who have basically completely forgotten about me. But that's ok right?

spiffiepixie @ 2006-10-19T12:46:00

2006-10-19T12:47:29Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYLA!

I miss you and love you TONS!!!

quick little update...

2006-10-17T13:14:49Z

October 13 was 4 months for me and Andy... He is wonderful!

My car is fucked up... I want a new one but my parents are being lame.

I think my second hole piercing in my ear is a little infected cause it hurts.

I miss Kayla and Danni and Jess in Oneonta... I have no other friends here, which is fine cause I don't hang out with anyone but Andy anyway (which I'm not at all complaining about! I want to be with him all the time!) It's just weird knowing that my closest friends besides him live 2 hours away. And I want to come visit but have been really busy with work and school and stuff and I don't want them to hate me.

The end... off to school!

sitting here contemplating

2006-10-06T11:47:51Z

getting ready to leave... i have to be at work in 20 min... good thing it only takes like 5 to get there...

i really miss oneonta... and my friends...

there is a situation and i don't know what to do... either lose a friend or possibly lose andy... and i couldn't handle losing him... it would kill me. but he is afraid i will leave him for the friend... because this friend still has feelings for me apparently... which he talks about a lot i think... so i don't know what to do, because i don't want to lose a friend but i can see where andy is coming from, and i don't want to lose him, i love him so much, and i don't know how to tell this other person that i don't have feelings for them, only friends, but not hurt them. so i just don't know...

... and that probably wasn't the best explanation of the situation but i'm rished so deal with it...

mmm... reeses' peanut butter cups cereal is tasty

2006-10-03T12:56:15Z

the subject says it all

had my first day at sports authority yesterday... it was very boring and i was a completely useless person cause i couldn't ring anyone out, cause i have no cashier #... and i don't know where anything is yet, so when people asked questions i couldn't answer them... i put plastic sensor tags on a bunch of jerseys which i coudln't hang up because i was to short... and i bagged people's stuff that other people rang out. very boring day yesterday!

yay for getting paid on friday and actually having money so that i dont have to beg money off of andy for gas.

andy is amazing and i love him so much! and he has started to corrupt me, y'all should hear the rap songs i can sing along to! lol aaaand andy has introduced me to weird al, which is one of the funniest singers i've ever heard!

i miss my friends.

overall life is pretty damn good.

spiffiepixie @ 2006-09-22T12:03:00

2006-09-22T16:19:20Z

Wow... it's been forever and a year since I posted! Sorry!

Well LOTS has changed, I'm back in Kingston now, going to school at Ulster. I miss my friends in Oneonta soo much, and I want them to know that deciding to come back was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I love you guys, you're my best friends, and leaving you kills me. (P.S- What's up with this Lauren situation?)

I got a new job... I really liked it at Gander Mountain, but I wanted a job with more responsibilities and I didn't get that at Gander (where I was also making only $7/hour) So I went to Sports Authority and got a better job there, where I'll be working full time and making $9/hour. Much better. So my last day at Gander is the 30 and then I start Sports Authority on the first.

School is going well... I'm taking 6 classes, but only go to the campus twice a week, I'm there from 10:00 until about 2:30 on Tues and Thurs. On Thursdays I have a night class in Kingston, and then starting Saturday mornings I have a class in Kingston, and I'm taking one online class. I'm excited because my Mom told me that if I get an A in Math then I can get a kitten! Yay! And I'm taking College Algebra so it's not even really that hard.

Andy and I are still together. He is amazing, and it's so weird to me, cause we hang out everyday, and I'm not the least bit sick of him. It's only been a little over 3 months, but it seems like so much longer than that. He is amazingly sweet and perfect. And it's cool cause I've gotten a lot more comfortable with his family, like when we went to New Hampshire for the weekend and his truck broke, and we were stuck on the side of the road for like an hour, I went and waited in his parents car with his mother, 2 sisters and grandmother. The grandmother scared the shit outta me, but his mother and sisters are nice and I can like talk to them fine, where I used to be way nervous. Even his father doesn't scare me anymore! And his father is a pretty scary man. But basically, Andrew is amazing and yea... happiness!

Let's see.... I don't really know what else to write... other than:
Kayla- I need some details on ROBBIE! Cause that's so cute, you and him! I miss you and love you!
Danni- I posted this entry just for you!! I MISS YOU SO MUCH! and I LOVE YOU

Kayla and Danni- That sucks about Lauren. Call me sometime cause I feel like we are growing apart and I don't want that to happen!

grrr

2006-08-09T02:57:52Z

why do people insist on lying to me, when they know quite well that pretty much the only thing that REALLY pisses me off, is being lied to.

*note* to any of my friends... don't lie about stupid shit. 9 times out of 10 if you tell me the truth i won't care, or i'll be mad for about 3 seconds... lying however, you will probably never be forgiven for.

the end.

YAYY

2006-08-03T16:14:43Z

So yea... I just I'd do a little update...

I'm leaving in about 7 hours for FLORIDA! And that means that I finally get to see my little brother, Tyler, who was born March. And I miss Thomas so much, he is getting so big and is absolutely adorable.

Andy and I will be together for 2 months on August 13... and I think it's weird cause I don't usually like seeing the same person everyday and they start to annoy me or something... (hence me breaking up with Jon) but Andy and I hang out every night for a while and I love it. He makes me so happy.

Also, for all of those who I told... (I know I told my girls from Oneonta) I finally got a letter from the insurance company regarding... well you know... my new ____, the smaller ones. And they approved, so we have to call the doctor and see if they are gonna pay for the whole thing or just some, or what.

But basically, this summer is turning out to be wayy better than I was expecting. Because Andy is amazing, and I wasn't expecting to be able to go to Florida at all. And even though now I can't go to NC... it's ok, cause I will be going there sometime soon...

But I'm still excited to go back to Oneonta... even though I am gonna miss K-Town a little bit. I miss all my O-State lovers!

Oh yea... and my family bought a boat... so that's cool too!!

what a kiss means

2006-07-13T17:03:54Z

Kiss on the stomach-----"lets have sex"
*Kiss on the Forehead ----"Forever you will be mine"
Kiss on the Ear ---"I'm horny"
*Kiss on the Cheek ---"We're friends"
*Kiss on the Hand ---"I adore you"
*Kiss on the Neck ---"We belong together"
*Kiss on the Shoulder ---"I want you"
*Kiss on the Lips ---"I love you" OR "I want you"
*Holding Hands ---"We can learn to love each other"
*Slap on the Butt ---"That's mine"
*Playing with the Ear ---"I can't live without you"
*Holding on tight ---"Don't let go"
*Looking into each other's Eyes ---"Don't let go"
*Playing with Hair on Head ---"Tell me you love me"
*Arms around the Waist ---"I love you too much to let go"
*Laughing while Kissing ---"I am completley Comfortable with you"

hehe... i hope that stuff is true...

he is wonderful

2006-07-13T07:43:41Z

(3:16:19 AM): i want to be with you all the time honey

(3:26:54 AM): i just wanna hold you and never let go

(3:30:09 AM): if you need anything call me im always here for you.. well goodnight baby i love you more than anything.... im so excited night

So yea... those are some great moments from our convo... he is so amazing. You can all be jealous now! How sweet is he?? He is perfect for me, I decided.

Oh, and I'm watching Friends right now, and I think Phoebe is hilarious... Haha "Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock" that's what I'm going to change my name to.

happiness

2006-06-26T07:38:07Z

i have never felt this way before... it's amazing.

it's weird how happy one person can make you.

i don't know what it is... but i hope it doesn't stop!

summer

2006-06-23T06:13:43Z

summer so far hasn't been as bad as i was expecting. i'm working both jobs and they are pretty cool. i love gander mountain, everyone is awesome. and the gypsy wolf isn't horrible, not as good as gander though.

i've been hanging out with andy a lot... i really like him. and he is so sweet, we're hoping to go down to the city sometime this month and he is trying to get tickets to go see wicked. i don't even care if he gets them, just the fact that he was trying to and was willing to go see a show with me is amazing.

we took the puppies swimming today, it was interesting. they were rather scared of the water, and we had to trick them into going in. i left with scratches all over my arms and legs. lol

amazing

2006-06-18T13:03:58Z

guess who is going to NYC to see Hairspray sometime this month... that would be me! and can we discuss how freakin' excited i am?!?!

i officially have the best bf in the world! you know you're all jealous! don't lie.

fucked up

2006-06-15T15:20:41Z

i really just don't understand some people. especially stupid retarded girls. it is fucked up when girls get so pissy about stupid shit.

it's ridiculous.

still...

2006-06-13T07:52:59Z

still confused. but not about what to do... about how to do it. help?

just ask and you will be informed of what exactly is going on, because i really don't feel like posting my personal stuff all over the internet right now.

goodnight all.

confusion.

2006-06-12T02:18:34Z

that is me.

confusion.

in my brain.

the end.

Beauty and the Beast

2006-06-01T21:26:52Z

To everyone involved in Beauty and the Beast at UPAC:

Good luck to you all! I know it opened today for the school groups and I'm sure that went fabulously... Merde to you guys in the other performances.

I really wish I was working on the show with you all. I have missed you guys so much, and being there watching the show from in the audience won't be what I wanted, but at least I'll be there. I was really looking forward to doing the light board and being with you guys, like old times, but that, unfortunetly, didn't work out...

Anyway... I know you guys will be great and I will be there cheering for you at the Sunday performance... also, hope you all have a great time at the cast party. And for all those seniors... Congrats!

I love you all!

Maybe Jess can answer my question...

2006-05-30T22:43:23Z

Why is it that thunderstorms always come at night... Like not late night, but evening, right when its getting dark... cause then it's unfortunate when the power goes out because it is pitch black in your house.

I hate that this is always what happens... for two reasons... 1. I do not like being in the dark... 2. This really only applies to tonight, but my family took all of our flashlights camping with them... therefor I am left to sit in the dark, doing nothing... Hmm... not fun.

The power came back on, but its been flickering... so I'm kinda nervous, hopefully the fam should be home soon though. I am debating going to sit in my car, cause then I could have lights and music, and also the safest place to be during a storm is in a car, or so I've heard...

K, the end.

But I just realized the irony of my situation and then what my icon is... hehe

hehe

2006-05-29T05:11:07Z

I'm so tired...

Summer...

2006-05-25T15:22:40Z

So far, the summer hasn't been to awful...

I started working at the Gypsy Wolf, it's pretty cool, it'll be better once I start getting paid. I had to have 2 days of training to learn how to bus tables, and I don't get paid for those 2 days, because I was in training... kinda lame. But oh well, I'm working Fri and Sat and so those days I should make some money, cause it's supposed to be really busy. Sunday I'm starting up working at Gander Mountain again... Can't wait for that. My family is going to Assateague Island this weekend to go camping, I'm not going cause I have to work, so I get to stay home with the dogs. I don't mind, cause I get the house to myself for 3 nights and I love the dogs! So it works out...

I got my grades for the semester, they weren't as good as I was hoping for, but better than last semster, 3 B's, a B+, and an A-. Overall GPA was 3.20, I was really hoping to do better than that, because my Mom and Sean are smart and they get such good grades, that I really just hate myself for not being able to. My Mom they other day was like "Oh man, I only got an A- in my physics class, I'm so pissed!" and she really was.. and I was like "And you wonder why I feel like I have to get fabulous grades in order to feel semi-good about myself" I hate it. I hate the feeling of not being happy with myself at all, in any aspect of life. But I didn't want this journal entry to be me complaining, so new subject.

I'm excited to see everyone from NYCA again, I really missed it. I went to a rehearsal the other day for Beauty, and everyone was amazing! Frank is so great as Gaston! And the costumes are awesome, the dances rock, and I really miss it there. But I'm hoping to get more involved in the theater in Oneonta... Amy finally talked me into starting to go to the Mask and Hammer meetings (the theater club), and I might audition for some shows... But I'm still not sure.

Ok the end. Time for me to go find something to do.

One more thing...

2006-05-11T23:55:37Z

P.S.- Don't you HATE when you think people are on the same page as you... only to find out that they're not?

I do.